dbjorklund.com

If the me from out of the past, the 80s to be specific were to meet the person I currently am and have been for quite some time now I’m certain there would be an argument and it would end in fisticuffs or worse.. Most know me as the guy who allows money to worry about itself, I give away more freebies in a day than most do all year, somewhat like good old Scrooge at the end of a Christmas Carol. Mister 1980s was all about the cheese, I could work any crazy scheme toward profitability I never held a steady job but always had the money for the good times while looking ahead to spot the next sucker. PT Barnum could’ve mistaken me for a long lost bastard son.. It was most probable the changing factor for me that set the ball rolling was during the dotcom bubble burst where I began my progression from Ben & Jerry type hippie into just plan old dirty hippie.. during the dotcom craze I left for Chicago in pursuit of the big score, I was promised things unbelievable all while being pushed by one who had more greed than I thought imaginable. To shorten the story and not bore the few readers of my site, things didn’t go as promised and I was given a rare opportunity, something I didn’t recognize until recently.. I was at rock bottom and able to reset who I was. I re-examined my core beliefs my actions and began anew.  Over the past decade I had encountered and was thrown in with people who actively attacked my core being and when they couldn’t twist me to accept their greed they would profit off my generosity, by strange happenstance and shear luck I escaped a bit bruised but still always the believer…

For me life is measured by the experience one collects, not the relentless pursuit of greed. In the end I want to have an unending collection of stories to relate to those who want to listen, but.. and there always has to be a but lurking somewhere out in the ugly parts of the world.. I’m faced now again with a reevaluation of greed and desire, I don’t wish to compromise myself yet I find those about who care for little more than obtaining wealth. While looking in the metaphorical mirror I can see myself desiring to be the one who profits at the expense of others instead of being the one used to fuel the greed machine. I lose sleep over this, I know inside me I am capable of an ugliness more vile than Mr. Gray’s portrait. My soul is not clean my conscience is foul with a history of manipulation and while it was all learned behavior and realistically difficult to go back to the skills of long ago the path can be set upon quite easily..

So here I sit at yet a new crossroad, familiar yet different enough that I could so readily slip into the comfortable shoes of the past “for old times sake” or “just this once”. It’s right now that I must pull all my strength to be honest with myself and keep to things that have brought me the most profit in life, the stories, love, kindness. When I leave this planet I want people to celebrate my life, not my passing…